Monthly Archives: July 2012



Last week in my favorite(it shall remain nameless because I don’t want it to get too crowded) nail salon, I was enjoying a glass of wine and picking out my favorite polish, when Dr. Kris decided to join me! YAY!!!  Dr. Kris then requested a new file and pumice for her feet and things went downhill….We tried to explain to the sweet little woman, that nail fungus is spread thru pumice, files and soaking bowls that haven’t been cleaned properly.  She would just not have any of it…and told us in her best broken “American” that her clients didn’t have nail fungus.  They never saw it in their salon!  Unheard of!……Oh really, excuse me lady, but that foot of mine you are holding in your hand right now, has a nail fungus.  Pretty hard for me to not laugh in her face and go into a rant about it, instead I turned up that massage chair and drank every last drop of my wine:)

When we first starting treating, it I didn’t say a word….then Mollie and I were here in the office one day alone and I confessed.  I have it…nail fungus. GROSS.  GROSS.  GROSS.  I mean, really…I get a pedicure once a week because my feet are a rough from running.  How could I get this nasty funk?? Even the name of it, Onychomycosis, sounds disgusting.  So one slow afternoon at the office Mollie cured me of a lifetime of toe embarrassment with our laser:)

Hello, nasty nail salon!  We have all been there done that… walked into a place that wasn’t ever so clean, and thought, it will be fine, or I am in a hurry, I will just come here one time and I will go somewhere better next time. However, even the smallest cut in your cuticle or nail bed opens you up to the possibility of infection.  Then you go home later that afternoon or next day and go for a run…and then leave your tennis shoes on for a little too long.  The infection that crept into that tiny little cut by your toe,  has now started to grow a fungus…

Men get it too, and there is nothing worse than seeing a good-looking man then getting a glimpse of his funky toe in his flip-flops.  Gag me!!!

Covering mine with nail polish had been working with like a charm, so I was really skeptical about being treated because I didn’t want to walk around town with my funky toe staring everyone in the face at Kroger!  But come to find out, you can be treated and go straight home and re-polish!  Hallelujah!!!  No one will ever know!(except now I told y’all…don’t judge me, It is gone!)

Painless.  All you feel is a little heat.  Very easy.  Very confidential.

And the next time you go get a pedi, take your own pumice stone and file!  You can buy the same ones they use at Sally’s for dirt cheap!

Ex-Toenail Fungus Haver,


Everything I Need to Know…. I Learned From Steel Magnolias

Every small town has a beauty salon that is similar to Truvy’s(where gossip is queen and there is a ‘frig stocked full of Diet Coke)  I can still remember the first perm I had at Mrs. Barb Broadway’s.  I DID NOT want to go under the dryer, only for the fear of missing some gossip that was sure to come out of mother’s mouth(if you see her in town do not tell her I said that she USED to gossip)…….but there was always something good going on over at the salon, as well.  If ever anyone was in need you can be sure that the little Smithville Baptist and Methodist church ladies( “Oh, honey, God don’t care which church you go, long as you show up-Truvy”) would be pulling together to cook a meal, do a drive for winter coats, give donations so kids could go to church camp, driving widows to the doctor, and just generally taking care of the people in the community.  So I guess without the “beauty shop gossip” no one would have ever known exactly how to help, where to give money, time and food.  Some good things do come out of gossip and I guess it is up to you, what you do with the information. 🙂
Weddings in a small town are a BIG GIANT deal.  From the showers, to the colors, to the grooms cake(bleeding armadillo, HA!!) to the decorating of the “get away car” for the Bride and Groom….The whole town is involved AND invited!  It is a reason to party and the good Lord knows a Southerner loves a party.  Every wedding will result in the question…..I wonder how long it will be until the Bride and Groom have children of their own??

The friends that you tell you when you look like crap and need to “get your roots done” are the very best.  They are the ones who will come sit with you in the hospital when your child is sick.  They are the ones who will “love you more than their luggage.”

No matter how sick I get, It is never a good idea to cut my hair really short(bad idea, Shelby)

Laughter thru tears…It REALLY is my favorite emotion, and no one cries alone in my presence.

“An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.”- Perhaps a quarter ounce of pretension would be acceptable.. Maybe, if kept to one’s self. It’s good to view yourself as important but when rubbing it in the face of others and treating them as inferior is the outcome, it is worth less than the fly that lands atop the manure or the dirt that lay under it.

“Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin’ across your face.” – I don’t even know where to start with this one!!   It happens in the blink of an eye.  Let’s all take a few minutes and thank God for Botox, Juvederm, and Obagi.  I LOVE all three of them….Whew!

“I’d rather have 30 minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special.”  30 Minutes is not very long…but a wonderful 30 minutes can make a day, a week, a month even.  In 30 minutes I can make cupcakes with my girls, Baby Jeff can rap Ice Ice Baby, I can talk to my Granny Katherine……I guess this really all depends on what you scale as “wonderful”

All gay men are NOT named Mark, Rick or Steve, however….most of them do have track lightin’.

Adella has yet to give me a kidney, but she has for sure always been the strong southern mother that Sally Field played in the movie.  And I am very sure that my friend group could rival the cast in the way that we all speak to one another and the fun that we all have together.

As a matter of fact, maybe I can get Chris Pugh to dress up like the Easter Bunny next year for our egg hunt!! And if anyone is feeling down in the dumps, feel free to “take a whack” at Aly or Emily today to make yourself feel better.


I think I will watch it ONE more time this weekend.












My protest against Nike shorts

As I look through our family photos and pictures of the kids from this summer, I can’t help but smile..and almost get tears in my eyes.  They have grown so much in just a matter of months and everyone is changing daily.  After I clear the single tear from my cheek, I see the photos a little more clearly and notice one thing, well…two things.  Tie Dyed shirts and Nike shorts.  EXCUSE ME!!!!  Did I not just spend the last two weeks of my life organizing everyone’s clothes?  HELLO(I said that in my best Linda White voice) children! I know what you own, JCrew, Gap, dresses and rompers from Sachi, Vineyard Vines!!   Why do you want to dress like little tiny Jerry Garcia’s about to hoop it up?  Don’t get me wrong, I wear them as well, sans the tie dye, and I guess that I am the one who purchased these items of clothing to begin with…but they do see me get dressed like a proper lady(I say that loosely)everyday for work and for date night. 

 This is not just at my house, I feel like Memphis and Northeastern Arkansas are in a Nike short epidemic.  They are everywhere!  Along with unkept messy ponytails and Chaco sandals. I want my daughters to know that it is fun to be a girl.  It’s fun to paint your nails different colors everyday.  It’s fun to try on 15 different outfits with your best friend.  It’s fun to buy shoes that are so uncomfortable you can’t walk 15 steps in them(I like to call those “sit and sip” shoes)  It’s fun to shop with your momma and your best friend and dress up to go to lunch.  Most who know me, know that I am not a girly girl…..I love to hunt and would rather fish than do anything else.  If I am not outside at least two or three days a week doing something at the river or the lake I am miserable.  But being a good mix and being well-rounded never hurt anyone!  You can wear camo and Columbia fishing shirts( I even saw a cute blue monogrammed one on Pinterest)at the farm and still dress like a lady in public.

(we really can look presentable, I swear)

When I get home today……I am hiding every pair in my house.  From now on when you see the Farmer Clan, we will be back to dresses and cute outfits!(at least until we all go running or on a family walk…or deer and turkey season roll around)

Join me in the fight against the daily wearing of Nike Shorts


What’s so magic about that?

I think most of you would probably assume that I would be crazy about the new movie… Magic Mike, and I must admit that I considered seeing it on a girls night with some of my crazy fun girlfriends.  I don’t know why this has bothered me since day one, because I am normally not a prude(that I am aware of) But I just can’t do it.

I read a blog this morning about the movie and decided I would write my own….

Last week, while sitting at the lake, I posted a picture of our past President,Ronald Reagan on our EMA Facebook , for the 4th of July, and thought about just how handsome and honorable he had been.  His wife, years later, even published a book of all the sweet letters he had written to her. I am just guessing that Matthew McConaughey isn’t writing love letters like this…..Image

(I mean really, how sweet…and he looked so handsome in a cowboy hat and he even kept his SHIRT ON)


Make no mistake, I get it.  Channing Tatum is handsome and for as long as I can remember Matthew McConaughey has been walking around shirtless.  But I try my best to not do anything that I wouldn’t want my girls to do…and while I know that I haven’t seen the movie(and I guess there are a few moral lessons within the script) I want them to know and value what true masculinity really is. 

“Sexy” to me is….

a man that will always lead the prayer at dinner with his family.

a man who is stressed out from working long hours, but still comes home and mows his own yard, waters the flowers, and still finds time to build a lego plane with a 6 year old little boy:)

a man who loves his mother and talks to her almost everyday. 

a man who has self-control and values others opinions.

a man who would never go see a movie about female strippers and their lifestyle and then post about it on his Facebook.

a man who is such a great friend that even though he doesn’t have any children of his own yet…will volunteer to coach your son’s off season soccer team and all the kids will adore him!

a man that is such a great friend….will come over on Christmas EVE morning just to watch your children open their presents from Santa Clause a day early and pretend it’s REAL Christmas day with you, because those same kids are going to spend the actual Christmas Day with their dad that year. 

On the East Memphis Moms Facebook page yesterday someone posted a picture of a dad at the Memphis Zoo wearing a hot pink Barney backpack and strolling behind his FOUR little girls, it had gotten like 7,000 “likes” in Memphis!…now that is handsome. 

 Just my thoughts…..I know you probably have your own:)